Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
