Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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