She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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