If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
