Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize