it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
