No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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