Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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