Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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