I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize