He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
