I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
