She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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