No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I stole a fireplace last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
