You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize