Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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