I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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