In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
