STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
