it was like his penis was on wheels.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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