i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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