Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
