the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
