BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
