yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
