I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
two words...techno handjob
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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