What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
