My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
