she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
