I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
