I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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