i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
