I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
