you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
