Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
