Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
