Dual....:-)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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