playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
