I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
