oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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