Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize