my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize