Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
