he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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