I wanna passion pit in your ass
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
