I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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