She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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