i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
