What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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