I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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