I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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