who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
