She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
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