bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He felt like a one man threesome
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
