i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
