before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Randomize
