Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
