SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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