Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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