I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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