You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
