Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
